Back to Work

Yesterday was "back to work" day! Starting a phased return over a month. 50% for 2 weeks, 60% for 1 week, 80% for 1 week, then back to full time. I had been looking forward to it until I had a particularly bad day with pain in my knee the day before, so this did put me off a bit. Although I'd been hoping to take just the one crutch to work, I decided to take 2 because of the pain the day before.

My colleague gave me a lift in, because I still haven't attempted to drive yet (hoping to work towards this over the next few weeks). Walking outside was the worst bit as I hate using the two crutches anyway. I'm so nervous of falling again! It took me quite a while to get from the car park into the building, which was a bit embarassing with people around wondering why on earth I was going so slowly! Once in my office I found that my computer chair was much more comfortable than I'd expected. I just had to make sure I wedged it in the corner of my desk before sitting down as its on wheels and I didn't fancy ending up on my butt on the floor! The chair was just the right height for me to keep my leg down comfortably all day and I surprisingly didn't feel the need to put my leg up at all. I just used the one crutch around the office and when I went out at lunch time, although I did link arms with my friend for a bit of added security then. My job is mostly sitting down, so once installed at my desk it there wasn't a problem getting on with it.

It was great to see everyone, even though I got the impression they were all wondering why I'm still so immobile. I found myself explaining to them all that "its not the break that the problem, its the rehab ... and my confidence" and I also kept pointing out that its a 12-18 months rehab at that. The 6-weeks-to-heal-a-broken-bone theory brings with it false expectations for recovery duration, I am struggling to accept it myself so no wonder other people find it confusing.

I'd thought a bit about physio arrangements whilst I'm at work, not sure how much I can manage to do and fit in whilst I'm there. So I just did some quads exercises before I left in the morning and then worked through my regime when I got home. I've read about people who push their PT hard to make up for time missed whilst at work and this just causes more problems, so I've decided to just do what I can on the days I'm working and carry on with the regime on my days off.

Overall, it was good to be back. Don't like being so dependent on colleagues and found it a bit embarassing getting around but I guess I'll have to just get over that. Hoping that being back at work will do my confidence some good and help me get over this silly fear of walking that I have developed.

Shifting Pins

The problem with this knee injury is that when one problem starts to get better, another one raises its head! Over the past few weeks, I've been plodding on with the exercises, working on the ROM and quad strength simultaneously. Having finally got the quads to fire up again and the ROM past 90 degrees it now appears that the pins have shifted again and are causing a range of stabbing pains at various points around my knee cap.

Initially, when I get a "new" pain I tend to wonder "what's causing that one now?!" ... and then I check the Xray (see previous post) and realise that the pain is actually happening in or around an area where a pin or wire either goes into, comes out of or curves around a piece of bone! Its seems that as the swelling and scar tissues are healing, the hardware is becoming more prominent and alllowed to move around more easily. The latest thing this week is the appearance of a "bruise" where the pins are poking into the skin - I haven't knocked or bumped it so can only assume I'm bruising from the inside out?!

View of the bruise below right of my knee cap

Bruising from the inside out ?!

The protruding pins that are causing the bruises

Hence, as I'm working through my regime I'm getting new pains and twinges on a daily basis. Its like a guessing game, which bit will dig in today?

I have to admit its very frustrating! I still want to work on the ROM and the strengthening exercises, but each day there is something new to hold me back. A few weeks ago, a shifting pin at the top of the knee cap dug into the tendon so bad that I was unable to exercise the quads properly for a while and they began to fade away again. I don't want this to happen again, so I am dealing with it by only doing the exercises each day that don't give me pin stabs. If today the wire under my knee cap catches when I try to push the ROM, I will just concentrate on the quads. If tomorrow the pins at the top or side of my knee are digging into a tendon, I will just work on the ROM instead. Luckily, I haven't had a day when ALL of it hurts together yet!!

I can't have the hardware removed yet because the skin over and around my knee is still shiny and mottled. This apparently indicated some minor nerve damage that is still not healed and until that calms down the surgeon won't cut through the tissue again. Not sure how long it will be, a few months perhaps, but it will have to come out eventually and I can already imagine how much better it will feel when its done.